> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://theappreciationminute.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Before You Choose the Gesture, Choose the Message - URL: https://theappreciationminute.com/choose-the-message-before-the-gesture/ - Published: 2026-09-10T02:36:01.000Z - Updated: 2026-11-07T04:03:32.000Z - Description: Before deciding what to give or do, decide what you want the person to understand. The message should lead; the gesture should carry it. - Author: Desiree Townsend - Tags: Everyday Appreciation, Thoughtful Gifting, Workplace Appreciation We want to thank someone, and almost immediately we ask: *What should I get them*? It’s a reasonable question. But it’s often the second one. The first is: **What do I want this person to know**? ## When the gesture becomes the assignment Appreciation can quickly become a task to complete. We need something for the employees. We should send something to our clients. We want to recognize the volunteers. So we start searching for something useful, appropriate, affordable, and easy to deliver. Those considerations matter. But in solving the practical problem, we can lose sight of the person. We choose the gesture before deciding what we mean. A thoughtful gesture can carry appreciation. It cannot decide what you mean. ## What do you want them to know? Before choosing what appreciation should look like, pause. What do you want the other person to understand because you did this? Maybe it’s: *I noticed what you did*. *I haven’t forgotten how you helped me*. *You make people feel as though they belong*. *You made a difficult season easier*. Each message could lead to a different expression of appreciation. “You made a difficult season easier” may call for a personal conversation rather than a public award. Once the message is clear, the gesture has a purpose. ## A box full of things A family member once received an end-of-year appreciation package from a well-known company. The company had spent money. Someone had chosen the items, packed the box, and shipped it. Inside was a collection of company-branded promotional products. There was nothing inherently wrong with any of it. Branded items can be useful, fun, and connected to meaningful experiences. But the message wasn’t clear. *Was the company saying, We’re proud of what you accomplished this year*? *Thank you for staying with us through a challenging season*? *Your work made a difference*? *Or simply, Here are some things with our logo on them*? **You can spend money on appreciation without making anyone feel appreciated**. ## The gesture is the delivery system A gift, note, award, experience, or conversation is the delivery system. The appreciation is the message. The best gesture reinforces what you want the person to know. A carefully chosen gift might reflect something you remember about them. A note might preserve words they can return to later. Public recognition might help others understand the value of their contribution. No single form is always more meaningful than another. Meaning comes from the connection between the person, the message, and the way it is delivered. Without that connection, even an impressive gesture can feel interchangeable. ## Start here Think of one person you want to appreciate. Before deciding what to send, buy, write, or plan, complete this sentence: **Because of this appreciation, I want you to know \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_**. Then ask: **What would carry that message clearly**? Sometimes the answer will be a gift. Sometimes it will be a note, a phone call, an introduction, an experience, or recognition at the right moment. Sometimes it will be one honest sentence. The next time you want to appreciate someone, don’t begin with the gesture. Begin with what you want them to know. Once the message is clear, the gesture has a purpose.